Buyers Guide to Marriage
There’s a pretty standard list of things that someone getting married should consider before they give a heart-felt “I do”. If you get clear on them, then so many other things will fall into place. When we’re blind to the facts and base our relationship potential on whether they smell good, look good, or have good manners, we can set ourselves up for buyer’s remorse in the future. The thing with marriage is that it doesn’t come with a receipt and it wasn’t designed by God to be returned like a shopping item. Here are some things to consider before you buy into whether your partner is marriage ready:
Do you share the same values in faith, family, finances, and conflict resolution? When you’re both on the same page, you will have harmony in your marriage. Having some candid conversations about these areas will eliminate the shock that comes later on when you find out what the other really believes about these things.
Do you share a complementary vision for the future? Knowing where each other’s ambitions lie influences the strategy you take and sacrifices you make to ensure you both get to where you’re going together.
Do you both know how to engage in healthy processes to get better? Another surprise can be eliminated by discovering whether the other person has a record of doing things right when they don’t agree with something or someone. Nothing is more exhausting than being with an emotional infant.
Are there strong, healthy support systems in your life that have been battle-tested and proven for getting to the other side of things? Learning this is a way of finding out if this person has friends that keep them accountable. A bonus would be if they happen to be a strong source of support for their friends when they are in need.
Has all the baggage of the past been unpacked so that there are no surprises? Trust me—everyone has baggage. What you want to know is if they still are carrying that baggage around. If they are, you will know pretty soon into the marriage and wonder to yourself, “is this the person I married?”. If they’ve received wise counseling or have personally worked through a healing process with the Lord that includes forgiveness, you’ll know they are ready for Matrimony.
That wasn’t so difficult, was it? The work that goes into making things work will not be as challenging if you do it in the beginning. If you follow this buyer’s guide, you’ll never have buyer’s remorse in your marriage.