Was it only puppy love?
We had a bulldog named Sheba. It would be about a year before we sensed that we had to part with her. That was one of the most agonizing things we had to do. She had the spunkiest personality. I don’t want to go into all the reasoning behind our selling her to an awesome family. What’s interesting is, after she was gone, and the 40 days and nights of mourning was over, we would talk about how great she was while looking at the pictures we had laying around of her (not to the point of a shrine but close). The truth is she was a trip. She was cool from afar like an Instagram story, but once you got up and personal she was quite the challenging one. FYI, that was not the reason we sold her. I noticed the further she was from us the easier it was to idolize her.
I’m struck by how we as people can be that way. We see things, people or personalities that are killing it and we buy into those things. The distance can actually add a mystique to people. think about it, we see them, we admire what they do or are touched by what they are saying or singing. It’s easy to idolize people from a distance but when you have to come up close and personal for a good amount of time the sizzle can start to get silent. Idolizing causes all types of expectations to be put on a person that they never signed up for. And you know what happens, we move on huffing and puffing from disappointment. We think the issue is with the person when it’s really with us. If we don’t see that, guess what will happen? We will sell off the idol we’ve been disappointed by, like when we sold off our dog Sheba, and start shopping for another idol. The issue is not the people or things we idolize, it’s that we have an idolatrous heart. I know that might sting but I got to keep it 100.
The cult of personalities that are all around us has been fed by us. We do it with people who stand out and those people usually have a look, have money, have the spotlight, have a talent or just have something we want. You know what I think the real disappointment and struggle for those who have a bent towards idolatry is? It’s the struggle with the disappointment with themselves. They don’t feel like they are enough, so they need other people or things to fix that. You know what actually fixes that? When we find ourselves completely whole and healed through our relationship with our Heavenly Father through His son Jesus Christ. Boom! That takes care of the idols. Idols are only a thing if Jesus Christ isn’t the main thing in our lives. We sell ourselves short and sell out to other good people in our lives when the presence of God is not at the core of how we live life.
We can become a remnant of people that stand out in a world full of idolaters. Can you imagine a person whose life is full of refreshing stories of real relationships? A life that has brought so much joy and the evidence of everything prospering around them is due to their exciting journey with God? Isn’t that what we want for all of our lives, the happiness that a meaningful life brings? We can be those people, the ones that don’t idolize from afar. That might mean we have to be ready to part with something, like a Sheba the Bulldog, that God has pointed out that’s in the way.
Lessons I learned in the dark
Alone in the dark is where I found myself. Outside on a swing at the local playground and nobody was in sight or in ear shot. There I was contemplating where I was in life. I thought coming all this way to Holland Michigan would bring me a fresh start and perspective. A family had graciously allowed me to stay at their house to get away from my home in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. There I was worlds away from anything familiar and being indoors all day, surrounded by a quiet community of condos, wasn’t something I was used to. The noise of city life was far from me. I had taken some books to read which dealt with unforgiveness and searching for significance. Both had proven to expose where I was. This overwhelmed my 18 year old brain as I just graduated high school and I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. A youth leader that I was very close to had just committed suicide and I was still recuperating from a toxic relationship. At this point I had recommitted my life to Jesus but I still felt lost.
I didn’t know it then but what I would learn would be foundational to staying the course many years later. One of the things I learned was how to stick it out when no one else was looking. My parents weren’t over my shoulder coaching me to become a man of God. I wrestled with God myself to discover who He called me to be. Without any of my friends around to impress I dug deep and tears flowed when God showed me that unforgiveness lived in my heart towards people. I learned to forgive during that time. There were also other pains of rejection and insecurities that I saw in the reflection of my soul.
I tried to find significance in places and people who I would show a pseudo version of myself because I wanted to be excepted. It was in the dark places where I discovered the shadows in my identity that haunted me during my days. I didn’t realize it during the time but this was a reconstruction time. I only knew that I was devastated at how alone I was and how corrupted I felt. I stood my ground in that park thousands of miles away from home and asked God to do whatever he had to do to make me a man worthy to serve him for the rest of my days. I welcomed the suffering of sanctification and I determined that I would forsake all others as long as He never left my side. Although I was never a great student I was passing the most important test of life which was the testing of my faith.
Today I am able to stay faithful when tragedy strikes because of that day. Today I can stand alone for what I believe when others seem to run in the opposite direction. Today I can forgive people without someone telling me because of that day. Today I can find significance in who I am in Christ because of that day. Today I can be alone in the dark and know that brighter days are ahead of me because of what God did with me on that day miles away from everyone I knew.