PTSD in ministry
It was the usual yearly trip that I take to get away from the hustle of ministry in order to clear my head and envision the future of the church I lead. This trip became something else when I started to realize how hard it was for me to feel connected to the Lord. I was there more mentally, but I quickly discovered that the time was feeling empty. There was a book I started to read and in that book, I was astounded at how God was being depicted. What astonished me was that the state that I was in altered my nature from the nature of God that I had fallen in love with. Then it hit me like a left hook. I was in the Kingdom but far from the King. So I would like to write a few words concerning the reason for the disconnect.
I’ve come to the realization that as I helped many people through family disappointments, people in and out of their lives, betrayal, let downs, the unexpected, and their heartbreaks and how those things had affected them, I totally neglected to let the Lord tend to the garden of my soul. Through this neglect, weeds had populated the garden and were choking out the relationships that were still there. I noticed that dreams that were once upright and strong were wilting and my trust in people was off color. My faith was losing focus.
The Lord was showing me that I was suffering from PTSD in ministry. I didn’t think that was a thing but sure enough as I examined what the signs of Trauma were…
Shock, denial, or disbelief.
Confusion, difficulty concentrating.
Reliving a traumatic event, including nightmares, flashbacks, and memories caused by triggers
Anger, irritability, mood swings.
Exaggerated startled response
Anxiety and fear.
Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Guilt, shame, self-blame.
Withdrawing from others.
Avoiding situations that are reminiscent of a traumatic event
Feeling sad or hopeless.
Negative changes in beliefs and feelings
Feeling disconnected or numb.
Self-destructive behavior
…I concluded I had it.
The knowing part was half the battle. I would have to invite Holy Spirit into the pain and anger. Tears were the evidence of my heart melting. I felt safe that I could trust God when everyone else was suspect. Then I began to realize that I’m probably not the only one that has had traumatic experiences that seem normal. There are probably others like me that have a high pain threshold, that can keep walking and not appear to have anything wrong. You might be one of those, like me, who knows how to run faster than the demons that try to haunt you. It’s only when you slow down enough to be real with God and yourself that you realize that you are not faster than you thought. And like me, you come to admit that you were not meant to outrun them but were meant to overcome them. I am better for the heart check. The healing that comes to exposed wounds is part of being reminded that our God is good. A goodness I want to be able to reflect in all that I do. This nature of God can’t come from the head it must be experienced in the heart. PTSD can be turned into an extreme situation to experience the goodness of God if you let yourself be ministered to in the places that ministry has caused trauma.
3 types of people that are attracted to your anointing; SUCKERS, PULLERS & PUSHERS
If you've ever planned on taking a trip somewhere you know how important it is to investigate what's around where you're going. You check out the attractions, things to do and places to eat. You can better prepare for where you are going when you do the research. There are also things you might be warned of that can keep you from headaches later on. Being anointed and flowing in that anointing is a trip. We don’t always have the luxury of having a personal tour guide for walking out our anointing in the real world, especially when we first start out. I thought of somethings that might be helpful for the "budding" follower of Christ who is called to work with people which is pretty much all of us. Below I have 3 types of people who are attracted to the anointing for entirely different reasons. I put together these brief descriptions to help you identify who’s who and what’s what.
Suckers are people who just want to take from you but are unreliable in their contribution to anything you do. Suckers don't see your time as precious so your world must stop for them when they call on you. They are always having an emergency. Drama is the only thing they attract and want to ask you to help them once they’ve exhausted all other means. They drain you emotionally and make you feel like you don't know anything because they tell you they've already tried the advice you just gave them and it didn't work. Suckers just want attention not direction. To them, you're a vomit bag not a sounding board.
Pullers see what you carry and will honor it until it pours out of you. They get nervous that they might waste the opportunity of their questions and your insight never meeting. Pullers are mentally taking notes and storing them in folders that get stored in their heart. They don’t exhaust you emotionally, however, you feel power being expended because of how they have positioned themselves to receive. They give you the space to air your heart. The only reason they pull out their mobile devices is to take notes or record what you’re sharing.
Pushers are a different breed. They have something to give but use their energy to draw on your potential thereby contributing to what would add to what you are called to do. They identify what is missing, incomplete or could use reinforcement and use their gift to compliment you in those areas. Pushers want to discover you further, to put wind in the sails towards your destination because they want to see you succeed. Pushers are a physical manifestation of the cloud of witnesses in heaven that cheer you on in the right direction. Pushers invigorate your efforts. They polish what’s been tarnished by the sucker’s disregard for what you carry and what the pullers touched when you gave them access. Pushers elevate your anointing and open doors to rooms they have access to and tables they would like you seated at. Suckers are common, Pullers are rare but are around and Pushers are the rarest.
I am not going to detail how each one should be treated because I think you are smart enough to figure that out. I’ll just say this; Suckers will always be there so pray for what your approach should be so they will not be given the opportunity to drain you or others. The hope is to see them become sucker free so enjoy pullers and honor pushers. The anointing deserves to be cared for therefore keep in mind the more your anointing grows in influencing others the more attractive it becomes.
Overnight Success is usually not a long term guarantee
Whatever happened to those people who put out that viral video sensation “What does the fox say?”
How about ALS being cured forever with all that money they made on the ice bucket challenge?
I just heard an interview from Rico Suave who came out with the only song I remember of his titled…are you ready? “Rico Suave.” That’s right he just repeated his name for the hook. When I saw that interview I was like I remember that guy once upon a time.
Here is the deal overnight successes with all the fame, popularity and buzz don’t usually last long. It’s sad really. I feel bad mostly for the ones who are getting this exaggerated attention only to find it gone as suddenly as it started. This is part of pop culture phenomenon.
I see this mentality seeping into the church. Where we give all this attention to the latest thing and the steady and faithful things get left in the dust. It’s not a bad thing to be an early adopter of something significant or new. What’s bad is when we have not grounded ourselves in what has been proven and guaranteed to start chasing what’s popular. Some people just jump jump like Kris Kross (you see what I did there another pop success) from thing to thing. Overnight success to me is when there is no proven infrastructure or foundation in place for the amount of success that has been poured out on a thing. Athletes can attest to their quick rise to the top just to fizzle out as quickly as they came in.
There is no way of stopping this. Overnight success will continue to come and go. It’s the people that repeatedly are attracted to them that i hope to help. I want to help by encouraging you to distinguish them when they show up. Then secondly, don’t make them everything in how you emotionally and materially invest into them. You may not realize it but if you’re undisciplined in how you deal with overnight success it may creep into patterns within other areas of your life. You will go from thing to thing or [God forbid] fling to fling. There will always be flashy job opportunities, cars, churches and things to own along the way. It’s your job to enjoy what’s guaranteed in your life when the flashy stuff shows up. Try not to waste the money and energy that could be invested into long term guarantee type ventures.
Seeing the “old” with brand new eyes
American Pickers is one show I really enjoy. Here are some guys who go from place to place to look through old stuff. That's how someone with an untrained eye would describe the show. But these guys are skilled at what they do. They are looking for valuable artifacts to buy at a bargain price and they sometimes restore those items for the purpose of reselling at the maximum value they can get for them.
In a world where the "new and trendy" gets all the attention, these guys are into the "old and out of style." It makes me wonder how many of us overlook things of great value that don’t have the appearance of being "new."
In order to stay current it seems we must be able to relate to one another through new experiences or knowledge. This can be great when it comes to staying progressive and keeping our eyes towards the future. But this same approach becomes dangerous when we ignorantly pass by or give up the old, reliable and true to have the new. Some of what’s new is untested and we can’t be sure if it’s reliable for the long haul.
Houses built now a days go up quick and in a hurry. They have the modern amenities and look stunning in terms of layout and design, but have you noticed these new houses can have cheap exteriors such as vinyl siding that most likely cover the wood or drywall under that? It’s new but I wouldn’t say it was built for the long haul. The house I live in was built in the early 1900’s. The exterior is brick and when I go to the basement and see the steel beams that are holding up the house I know that this was built from another era and it was built to last. That old house has good bones.
I really have been finding myself looking at what is older through new eyes. Old books that still pack a punch, old friends who are only old because they’ve been through many seasons with me, old lessons I’ve learned in life that have guided me to this point, old bible passages revealing something more and even old virtues that bring life to others when they are on display.
In a world that can discharge the old for the sake of the new, you will stand out if you know how to pick the old treasures that are out there and bring them into the future.
Alignment for your assignment
Right alignments are crucial to your assignment. I have said this numerous times to people who seem to be doing everything right, with limited results, and overwhelming challenges. The same way we were not meant to walk out our faith without the fellowship of other faithful’s, we are not meant to be in authority without aligning with authority figures in our lives. I can understand that abuse has happened to some people so they disregard the need of something based on their experience. This is dangerous because if our experiences inform what we believe then our truth will never transcend what we have known.
I would like to help people come into this blessed place of alignment. I realize it is not as easy as it sounds for a number of reasons. I have two ways on how to go about finding and aligning with authority over your life. My target audience for this is those in lead ministry positions who are thinking about this for their life or for the life of their ministry. It’s one thing to be convinced you need it and it’s another to know how to go about it. I want to share how to do the latter.
Two things you should be on the look-out for:
1. Relational compatible
2. Vision compatibility
Relational compatible is determined by interaction. It’s when I am hanging out with a person talking and connection happens. Let’s put it this way, I get them or get the way they are. There is a resonating that comes from how they are with me and how they receive me. I don’t look for them to be exactly like I am in personality or gifting’s. I let the intuition of our interaction help me. This is heart level stuff. Do I feel safe around them? Would I trust them around my family? Things like that. There’s a social component that I’m getting the right vibes from. They don’t need to be my best friend or totally relatable. In fact, because of their level of authority, I don’t expect to be so chummy with them. The principles in which they live are what I befriend.
Vision compatibility is more of the brain level stuff. Here is where they share and I listen for key phrases and practices that they mention. I will examine the fruit of their work. I look to see if there is commonality in the direction they are going. I ask questions about where they’ve been, where they are, and where they are going. It’s through these inquiries where I learn how they think. When I feel like there is only a clear frequency and no static in what they are sharing that tells me we have vision compatibility.
Wrong alignments for me have resulted in delays in mission, obligations to one another that feel uneasy and benefits that seem to only go one way. I’ve learned I can be friends, fellowship and partner with people without having to align myself to them. The right alignments result in sharing our strengths with one another, each wanting to see the other become successful and everyone’s clear about the part they play so the pressure to perform is lifted because relational trust rules.
I have been putting a list together of what has come about in my life and the life of our church since being aligned with the right people. The list includes sitting at tables with people I would have not met on my own, prospering in ways that we were not prospering before that and doors being opened. The list goes on. Alignment makes it so that what is flowing from the head comes onto the beard. The beard speaks of having the maturity to grow. What a good picture of what alignment is. Alignment is maturity to connect with headship like a beard does to the hair on head of a high priest leader.